Kawazu No Koishii
by RubyChan05
Summary: Everyone knows how bad a memory Itsuki has. Everyone knows that Itsuki forgot Shino and his crush...but what else did Itsuki forget? What made Shino love him so much anyway?
1. First Meeting

**Introduction**

Everyone knows how bad a memory Itsuki has. He has the unwanted ability to forget even the most unique events of his life…a fact that Shino knows too well. Everyone knows that Itsuki forgot Shino and his crush…but what else did Itsuki forget? What made Shino love him so much anyway? It's Shino's turn to tell the story…

* * *

**Chapter One; First Meeting**

He first met him at the park.

Left alone on the swings as the night slowly drew in, he rocked gently, his small feet barely leaving the ground with each swing. His hands gripped at the cold metal chains clumsily, delicate brow furrowed as he struggled to fly like the other kids did here, unable to push himself off with enough force to send him soaring.

He was practically in tears by the time the sun had set fully, the park lit only by the light from the lamps that had flickered into existence one by one as the shadows increased in number. Sniffing miserably, he stared down at his feet, only to start as another pair of trainers came into view, their owner standing only a few inches in front of him.

"Why are you crying?" The high pitched voice of a child asked, and Shino looked up to see a boy his age gazing down at him in confusion, worried dark eyes looking out from a chubby face. He looked down again, ashamed to be seen in such a state by another boy, but the stranger just crouched down so that he could still see his face.

"What's wrong?" The boy tried again, and Shino was embarrassed to feel his tears finally overflowing, two rivers streaming down his round cheeks as he sobbed hard.

"I ca…can't swing hi…high enough!" He finally got out, eyes screwed shut so that he didn't have to see the jeering expression of the other boy.

There was silence for a moment, then the sound of crunching gravel as someone moved behind him, closely followed by the small whisper in his ear.

"I can push you if you want." Starting at the offer, Shino opened his eyes and glanced back over his shoulder, comforted by the reassuring nod he got in return. Turning back to face the front with a determined expression on his face, he nodded, biting his lip as he felt the other boy's hands press against his back, starting him rocking again.

Ten minutes later, and there was no trace of the crying child that had been there before. Only a laughing eight year old soaring through the air, pushed by a boy behind him who was laughing just as much. Shino screamed in delighted fear as he felt the air whooshing past his ears, watching with wonder as his feet seemed to go higher than the trees with each of the boy's pushes.

Eventually though, young as he was, the other boy tired, and Shino felt himself beginning to slow down, his swings getting lower and lower until the boy was finally able to grab the chains and hold the swing still so that Shino could jump off.

Smiling happily, the boy took in the way that Shino was still giggling and stuck out a hand like he'd seen the grown-ups do, chuckling as Shino blinked and took it shyly.

"I'm Itsuki." The boy said, grinning widely at his new friend.

"Sh…Shino." Shino replied softly, a slight blush painting his cheeks as they shook hands.

"That's a nice name." Itsuki murmured, squinting in thought. "I wish I was named after a stem of bamboo…" Shino blinked at Itsuki's wistful expression, frowning as he dug his small hands into his pockets. It was cold out, and he hadn't got any gloves with him.

"But your name must mean something too…" He protested. Itsuki shook his head, pulling a face.

"It doesn't mean anything. It's just a name. I hate it…why do grown-ups choose the name of their baby before they're born? Couldn't they just wait until we're old enough and ask us?" He complained.

Shino fell quiet, looking sadly down at the ground.

"But doesn't that prove how much they love us? It's like they're promising to be with us forever, in our names…" He whispered, hunching his shoulders. "If I didn't have a name, Mummy and Daddy wouldn't be able to stay with me."

Itsuki tensed, wrapping an arm around his new friend as he saw tears appear in the other boy's eyes again.

"Where are your Mummy and Daddy? Are they coming to get you later?" He asked, pulling Shino's head to rest gently on his shoulder. Shino shuddered, huddling closer to the warmth next to him.

"Mummy and Daddy went away…they went off to work and their bus crashed…I live with Obaasan now. She doesn't know I'm out." He murmured pitifully.

Itsuki's grip tightened, and suddenly Shino found himself pulled into a proper hug that left him feeling warm and safe.

"My Daddy went away too…but I let him use my body so that he can still talk to Mummy." Itsuki said seriously, resting his head on top of Shino's. Shino buried closer, fingers gripping the folds of Itsuki's coat firmly as he pulled himself as near as he could get.

"Could I do that for Obaasan?"

"Don't think so…you have to be gifted like me." Seeing Shino's crushed expression, Itsuki hastened to add "But maybe, one day…"

"Really?" Shino gasped, pulling back to stare up at Itsuki in wonder. Itsuki laughed, reaching out with a hand to ruffle Shino's hair.

"You're cute. I like you. I'm glad I went looking for frogs today now…because I met you!"

"Frogs?"

"Yeah…I love them. Their faces just make me laugh. But it's too cold for them now – they're all asleep." Itsuki laughed. Shino giggled slightly, wrapping his arms around his friend's waist.

"Maybe Itsuki can mean frog then." He said solemnly. Itsuki stared down at him for a moment, before breaking into a wide grin, eyes sparkling.

"That's a great idea, Shino! Maybe we could…"

"Shino! Shino, get here right now!" The pair started at the angry voice that suddenly broke the near silence of the park, and Shino cringed as he saw his grandmother making her way towards them, shawl flying forbiddingly behind her like a villain's cloak.

"Uh oh…Obaasan's found me…" He gulped. Itsuki took in Shino's crushed expression and his grandmother's furious scowl, feeling a stab of pity for his friend. If he'd been Shino, he would have sneaked out too.

"Itsuki? We'll see each other again, right? I want to play with you again!" Shino pleaded. Itsuki smiled, tipping his head to the side as he thought about it.

"Of course we will."

"Promise me!" Shino said desperately, hands gripping at Itsuki's coat once again. Itsuki carefully extracted himself, gazing down at the emotional boy in front of him.

Then, giggling, he pressed his lips clumsily against Shino's, pulling back to see the other boy's shocked expression.

"I promise, Shino. But you'd better go now…your grandmother's waiting."

Nodding silently, Shino numbly turned and walked towards his grandmother, not paying attention to her angry words or the iron grip she had on his wrist as she led him away.

Instead, he just touched his lips with wondering fingers, his small cheeks flushed with something he couldn't describe.

* * *

It was years later, when Shino turned 13, that he realised what he had felt back then. Itsuki, with all his childish innocence and caring, had been Shino's first love. 

And his first kiss too.

Sitting in school and gazing out the window, Shino pushed the memory to the back of his head, telling himself firmly that there was no point thinking about something that had happened so long ago. Not when five years had passed without the pair ever meeting each other again. Itsuki had lied when he'd promised Shino that they'd see each other again one day. Itsuki meant nothing to him anymore.

Glancing at the pretty girl sitting next to him with her arm linked through his, Shino tried his hardest to believe that.

* * *

A year passed, and the shy but handsome young man that all the girls had had crushes on was dumped by his girlfriend. No one was completely sure what had happened, but rumour had it that she had attempted to further their relationship one night only to have Shino panic and push her away, a look of horrified discomfort on his face. He hadn't dated anyone since. 

For a while, life seemed to continue on as normal, but then rumours began spreading about Shino's preferences. At first they were dismissed, but after watching Shino carefully for some time and seeing the unreadable look he sometimes got in his eyes when looking at a particularly striking boy, they were accepted as fact. From then on, Shino's life, both in and out of school, became hell.

Meeting a constant barrage of abuse every day from both students, and shockingly, teachers alike, Shino seemed to die inside, retreating further inside himself until there was very little left of the boy he had once been. Shyness turned into an almost palpable fear of people. Tentative smiles became blank expressions always on the verge of grief or terror.

People claimed to finally understand why he had reacted so strongly to his girlfriend's advances, and why he seemed to prefer the company of his male friends over the possibility of dating again. They backed up their claims with violence and other unfavourable reactions, forgetting in their prejudice that this boy had been a classmate of theirs for nearly three years.

Things escalated until a particularly violent encounter with a group of boys and a large flight of stairs nearly cost Shino his life, leaving him in a coma with massive head trauma and a broken leg.

Two months later and Shino woke up to the news that they were moving to another city where he'd be enrolled in another, less bigoted school. He took the news calmly, although he was terrified inside.

Perhaps if he'd known who he was about to meet, he'd have been less scared.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**

* * *

Well...there's my first Eerie Queerie fic! Part of it, anyway. I know we're meant to like Hasanuma/Mitsuo best, but personally I can't help liking Itsuki/Shino and Mikuni/Kanau even more! I was hooked on Shino and Itsuki the moment I read book 3, and I love them to bits! 

This story's been floating around in my head for a few months now, but I never had time to write it before...sorry this chapter was so short, but it was really more of a prologue than a real chapter! And for anyone who's wondering, Kawazu No Koishii should roughly translate as Beloved of Frogs or something like that...I'm sorry - I can't speak Japanese, and online translators can only do so much when not using kanji!

Read and review please!


	2. Hello Again

**Introduction**

Everyone knows how bad a memory Itsuki has. He has the unwanted ability to forget even the most unique events of his life…a fact that Shino knows too well. Everyone knows that Itsuki forgot Shino and his crush…but what else did Itsuki forget? What made Shino love him so much anyway?

**_It's Shino's turn to tell the story…_**

* * *

**Chapter Two; Hello Again**

"Ok, class, we have a new student joining us today! He's just moved here, and he'll be with us for the last year of middle school…I'm sure you all remember how hard it was starting off in a new school, so I want you all to give him a nice warm welcome! Come on in, Fujikake Shino-san!"

The door slid open and Shino nervously entered the classroom, dark eyes flicking almost constantly around the room, seemingly unable to ever stay focused in one place. It was a reflex born from the abuse at his old school – unless you were on constant alert, you were likely to get the crap beaten out of you before you even had time to blink.

Swallowing hard, Shino took in the faces of his new classmates, uneasily noting their curious, analysing gazes. He could practically see the thoughts spinning around in their minds. Who was he? What was he like? Why did he move to Nara? And why had he moved in the last year of middle school, such a critical time before the entrance exams?

Clenching his fists tightly, Shino took a deep breath before bowing respectfully to his classmates, tensely murmuring the traditional greeting. And all the while conscious of how exposed he was at the front of the class, a perfect target for any projectiles his peers felt the urge to throw at him…

"Is there anything you'd like to share about yourself with the class, Fujikake-san?" The teacher asked kindly, smiling comfortingly at Shino. He returned the grin weakly, feeling the ball in his stomach tighten even further. >_Hmm…how about 'I'm gay!', judge me now or forever hold your peace?>_ Even the thought made him cringe.

"Not really…I'm just an ordinary guy." He said quietly.

"Hey! You speak with an Osakan dialect!" Someone exclaimed, and Shino bit his lip, nodding.

"Yes, I was born in Osaka…I only moved away recently."

"How come you moved?" Another person asked, and Shino felt himself freeze up at the question, quickly adopting a look similar to that of a deer trapped in the headlights of a car.

"Umm…I, that is…" He stumbled, trying to think of something that would sound halfway like the truth.

"Yes?"

"Oh, leave the kid alone Kana-chan! Can't you see that Bamboo here isn't comfortable talking about it?"

Shino froze, brain furiously working as the words sunk in. _No one _had ever picked up on his name's meaning before…no one other than…heart pounding, Shino glanced over the room again, finally coming to a rest on the boy who had just called out. _A boy who had a green frog pencil case perched on his desk…_

Shino's eyes widened slightly. It couldn't be…and yet all the clues added up to it. Hurriedly bringing a memory of Itsuki to the surface, Shino silently compared it to the boy in front of him. His breathing quickened as he realised that the tousled dark hair, brown eyes and easygoing smile were all a match.

"Fujikake-san? Are you alright?" The teacher asked in concern, and Shino stiffened, reality crashing back down onto him as he snapped back to the present. Shooting his new teacher a weak smile, he nodded faintly, relieved when she turned her attention elsewhere.

"Now where to put you…hmm. It seems the only free space is the desk in front of Kagami-san. He's the one with the frog pencil case." Shino swallowed, slowly moving across the classroom to seat himself in the chair in front of the boy who reminded him so much of his childhood crush. The last name meant nothing to him – he couldn't recall Itsuki ever telling him it when they'd met.

"So, now that Fujikake-san is all settled, I think it's time to begin our lessons, don't you?" The teacher grinned. Open your history textbooks to page 199…you'll find yours in the desk drawer, Fujikake-san."

Forcibly immersing himself in the paragraphs of text on the Feudal Period, Shino tried to pretend that there wasn't a Kagami-san behind him at all.

* * *

As the bell rang, signifying break, Shino breathed a faint sigh of relief and put away his books. He briefly wondered what there was to do around here between lessons, but the thought flew out of his head the moment someone moved to stand in front of him and block his way out of the classroom. 

Unable to restrain the small cry that escaped him, Shino stumbled back only to crash into the desk behind, causing him to overbalance and slam down onto it.

"Man, I'm sorry about that. Didn't mean to scare you." A hand reached out to accompany the warm voice, and Shino flushed as he took it, realising exactly who it was. Allowing the person to pull him to his feet, he bit his lip in embarrassment, refusing to meet the other boy's eyes.

"It's not your fault. I…I just overreact sometimes, that's all." Shino stammered, hurrying to put the other boy right. Kagami-san wasn't to blame for his stupid instincts, after all. No, Shino placed the blame for that firmly on his own shoulders.

"Or maybe it's just a reflex caused from experience? Is that why you left your old school?" Kagami-san guessed. Shino didn't answer, the room seeming to darken unnaturally, the air becoming suddenly stuffy. Sensing the new student's reluctance to answer, Kagami-san shrugged and filed the question away to ask another day, before sticking out a hand. Blinking, Shino took it shyly, unable to stop himself thinking back to a very similar scene from years ago.

"The name's Itsuki Kagami. How do you do?" If Itsuki noticed the suddenly almost painful tightening of Shino's grip, he didn't say anything. Instead, he just waited patiently for Shino to get a hold on himself and possibly reduce the size of his eyes down to something approaching normal. Realising that he was staring, Shino started to babble incoherently, inwardly mortified at the words spilling out of his mouth.

"It _is_ you! I never thought…well I did, because you were so similar…but I couldn't believe it…I'd never have hoped that…it's incredible…just…just seeing you again…"

Itsuki frowned, managing to make just enough sense of Shino's rambling to work out what the other boy was trying to say.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up Shino-kun! I don't ever remember seeing you before in my life!" He exclaimed, cutting off the flow of words escaping Shino. Shino froze, words rapidly dying as the information registered.

He…he didn't remember him? Shino was _sure_ now that this was the same boy he'd met all those years ago…how many other Itsukis were there that looked so similar and seemed to share the same passion for frogs? He'd cherished those memories without question, and now to learn that the other boy had actually _forgotten_ all about him…

It made Shino's heart ache.

Pasting a small, self-conscious smile across his features, one that was barely more than a slight quirk of the lips, Shino bowed apologetically to Itsuki, allowing the polite Japanese manners instilled in him by his forbidding grandmother to guide his actions as he numbly tried to get his head round this new, painful information.

"I apologise, Kagami-san. You reminded me of someone else – I must have mistaken you for him." He said stiffly, and with not just a hint of detachment. Apologising was something he was used to by now, and he was very good at it. He'd got a lot of practice over the years, after all, what with both school and his strict upbringing.

Itsuki's eyes widened, and he reached out to grab Shino's arms, pulling the boy upright and gently forcing him to remain that way. He'd never seen anyone Shino's age apologise so formally for anything in his life, and he wasn't going to let his new classmate be the first.

"Hey it's cool man, don't worry about it." He reassured Shino quickly. "And don't call me that – call me Itsuki." Shino's eyes widened again.

"I can't call you that! It…it would be too familiar!" He protested. Itsuki shrugged, releasing Shino's arms to stretch.

"Who cares? Everyone else calls me that." Seeing Shino's vaguely panicked expression he sighed, rolling his eyes slightly.

"Fine then. Call me Itsuki-kun. Or even Itsu-kun if you're feeling particularly daring. Is that better, Shino-k…hey, do you mind if I just drop the '-kun' part? I'm really not used to using it…"

One look at Shino's face told Itsuki not to make any plans to be calling him that anytime soon.

"Geez, you really _did_ have a strict upbringing, didn't you? Are your parents diplomats or something?" He exclaimed sarcastically. Almost instantly the room, which had gradually been changing back from hot and stuffy to something vaguely resembling normal temperature, seemed to drop several degrees, and Itsuki was sure he'd just felt a few spots of rain on the back of his neck, even though they were inside. Weird. But there wasn't time to worry about something like that – Shino's expression was reminiscent of a puppy that had just been kicked, and it was making Itsuki feel more than a little uncomfortable.

"Right! Well, uh…since you're new here, why don't I go introduce you to the others? I mean, if you're going to be here for the whole year then you're gonna have to get to know them, right?" He offered, hoping that that would be enough to lift the other boy's mood.

Luckily for him it did, and Shino nodded hesitantly, following Itsuki out of the classroom silently.

Itsuki may not have been able to remember him, but he could forgive the other boy for forgetting something that had happened nearly seven years ago.

They could always make new memories together.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**

* * *

Aaargh...that was way shorter than I wanted it to be. But at least I updated...really wanted to post before I go back to school tomorrow...and in case anyone thinks so, this isn't the end! Loads more to come yet! Read and review please!

(And before I start replying, I would like to thank all the people who are not only reading this one but my other fics too - you make it all worthwhile!)

**Blood Tears Dying Angel** - I'm glad you thought it was interesting! Was that update fast enough? Over a month, I know, but this isn't a priority fic for me!

**Draca Longwing** - Oooh! Please finish and post! Or even just post with a note they're discontinued! I'd love to read them! Did you know, I've only been able to find 6 stories about Shino or Itsuki, not including my own? Gah! (But if you don't mind M rated stories I recommend Warm Me Up and Flora's Secret - cute, cute, cute!)

**dimonoya-anghel** - Hmm...that's one way of looking at it! (Laugh) But I guess you could say it's his fault...

**GreenEyedFloozy** - Thanks! Glad you like it!

**hentai-monkey** - Probably not the best chapter I could have written, so I hope this doesn't disappoint you! Thanks for those lovely comments!

**rachelthelynn** - This isn't a priority fic, so it may not be updated regularly - but rest assured, it WILL be finished! And they're my fav pairing too - we should form a club! (snicker)


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